"The Fast Foodie" Review

"The Fast Foodie," a dramatic mockumentary short, opens like a true crime news report, but the whole time Jerry Duppa (Hannes Phinney), a fast food blogger, talks about drive thru chow with the attention to detail of a Michelin chef.

Though at first his love of fast food and dedication to his blog are apparent (almost admirable in a to-each-his-own kind of way), a sense of loneliness wafts into the film like a toxic mist. But the loneliness of one man in his car going from drive thru to drive thru is nothing to the lurking danger when the audience finds out that Jerry has health problems. His doctor-ordered switch to diet soda and no fries doesn't stick for long. As Jerry says, "I gotta be me."

It is at once heroic and pathetic how, for better or worse, Jerry embraces his chosen diet. He is a trash food connoisseur, a true believer. This hands-off examination of the modern diet and medical consequences lets the lifestyle speak for itself. Far from riveting, there are no dramatic consequences, just creeping bad health and the deteriorating life quality of living in and out of drive thrus, one's only interaction a brief exchange of money for food.

Co-writer/director Mathew Bardocz paints an unnervingly accurate picture of a culture of isolation and instant gratification, a grim culture in which egocentric motivation and too-little-too-late action could slowly kill us all. Worst of all, watching this film exposes audiences to the very real danger that upon leaving they will crave zucchini fries.

"Hands Solo" Review

Ever hear that old saying, 'you lose one sense and the others grow stronger?' Well, apparently that’s what happened to porn star, Hands Solo (Matt Kirby). Born deaf, he spent his whole life communicating through the use of sign language. What he lost in hearing however, he made up in wicked cool finger dexterity. His ability to bring orgasms at the rate of thousands per minute has made him a big star in porn.

There is one thing those incredible fingers can’t do, however, and that’s bring back the love of his life. With great power comes great orgasmablility, and when Hands loses control of himself on set it has tragic consequences. In the wake of the accident, Hands is left wondering who he can trust.

This UK short from director William Mager has all the ingredients for a successful mock, good overall quality, a fun cast, ridiculous script. Some sweet graphics and scientific mumbo jumbo round out the documentary feel every mock strives for. Nicola Stapleton was particularly fun to watch in her vivacious portrayal of a good-natured porn star. Perhaps the only piece of real criticism for this film is in the writing. With all the other pieces in place, the jokes could have hit harder and from more unusual directions. The set up was very deliberate, and more of a spontaneous feel would have better kept the audience on its toes. At the end of the day, “Hands Solo” is a textbook mock short that never lets its guard down. It stays strong right to the end.

"Special Needs" Review

Some people aren’t like you and me. Some people have “Special Needs.” But being different is hard, so people often try to cover up ways they’re ‘different’ from others. Maybe you have a secret you don’t want to share. Maybe someone you know has “Special Needs” - your friend, your cousin, your mother or father, even your husband or wife! The shock could be terrible.

That’s exactly what happens to one couple in comedic short, “Special Needs” when an innocent night watching movies at home gets personal. They discover things they never knew about each other, about their ‘needs,’ and they have to cope with realizing that perhaps they didn’t know each other as well as they thought they did.

The results are freaking hilarious. Co-writers Emily Wilson and Brad Morris, who also portray the married couple in the film, navigate the twists and turns of their screwed up script beautifully, delivering laugh out loud moments that at the same time make you feel ashamed of yourself. Props also to director Scott Smith for bringing it all together.

So, what would happen if you discovered someone you loved had “Special Needs?” The shock could be terrible. Or maybe you’ll find out you’re not as alone as you think you are…

…on second thought, maybe it’ll just be creepy.

Edimmu Review

Eva (Eva Schran) is hosting a travel documentary about Jordan, a country of relative calm and safety in the very center of the war-torn Middle East. She swims, dances, and gets pampered at spas that rival those in the west, exploring castles and caves, walking through thousands of years of history. The minute the cameras shut off, however, Eva is haunted.

The perky, carefree travel host unravels and very soon whether the camera is on or off makes no difference anymore. Is Jordan's dark history catching up to her, thousands of souls of the violently dead passing on their torment? Or is there just something very wrong with Eva?

Edimmu is a deadly serious foray into a world no foreigner can or should truely understand, one of hateful desert spirits. The imagery of the dirt, mud and sand, of Eva always looking under her bed, conjure images of something buried, dead or lost, that refuses to stay gone. Schizophrenic and disturbing, Edimmu is a brilliantly acted and superbly real masterpiece of foreign suspense/horror.

Silverlake Video the movie Review

Ben is one sentimental shmuck with a rapidly mounting list of problems. He’s the owner of a small video store, and today is his last day in business. At midnight tonight, Ben will be evicted. He works in a colorful neighborhood populated by wacky idiots and troublemakers who make Ben’s life impossible, but he loves each and every one of them. Though he knows he’s a dinosaur in a dying industry, he can’t imagine life without his customers. Overzealous cops, wannabe actors, and basket cases a plenty are all brushstrokes on the vast canvas of Silverlake Video.

This wild, entertaining comedy feature delivers rapid fire jokes with finely tuned comedic timing. Ben (Sean King) is a lovable lead, emotionally available and terribly unlucky. His endless patience for the people around him, even in his own desperate circumstances, really makes him the kind of guy you want to see get a good break. He’s pretty much this film’s only straight man. Writer/director Matteo Ribaudo seems to have a knack for capturing every actor at his most ridiculous.

With a clever balance of the raunchy and schmaltzy, “Silverlake Video the movie” is like a whore with a heart of gold. She might not be pretty, or clean, but in the end you know you’ll end up rooting for her. And there’s a moral to this story! Did not see that one coming…

“Waiting for Goldblum” Review

When actor Jeff Goldblum is late to teach a senior workshop at the acting academy he co-founded, the local media picks up the story, reporting it as an altercation with a potential hostage/murder situation. On the streets outside the acting academy, the press interviews academy students and passers-by about what has happened to Jeff Goldblum. The press plants and insinuates more than it is actually able to confirm, and in the end manages to whip the growing crowd into a sobbing frenzy.

Inside the academy, a tragic accident involving one of the acting students causes his scene partner to crack under the intense strain of interpreting an entirely new scenario: reality. ’Working with’ such potent material quickly drives the young actor into a crazed euphoria, which only fuels the confusion, both inside and outside the academy. Wild rumors build on top of wilder accusations until the fury outside matches the madness within.

“Waiting for Goldblum,” comedy short from writer/director Holly Gagnier, shows two groups of people, both claiming to want the truth. However, as one group is getting more and more wrapped up in sensationalized accounts and fantasy, the other is trying desperately to break the spell of make believe and bring their ordeal back down to Earth. Some funny lines and a cast of petty, self absorbed characters makes “Waiting for Goldblum” a disturbing and thought provoking watch for anyone, God help them, who’s ever spent time around actors.

“Jackpot: The Price of Wealth” Review

Winning the lottery can have a huge effect on a young man, but what will that be? The crew of TV’s “Jackpot” wants to know. So they’re following around Jeff (Dillon Oleata), recent multimillion-dollar winner, and his three best friends as they live their lives post-lottery. At first Willy (Edward Walton), Quinten (Alex Liddy), and Angelo (Kylen Deporter) see the upside to their friend’s good fortune. He can pay when they all go out, make up for his mistakes, and reward them for doing what he wants. Things sour when Jeff and the others learn that money can’t buy everything.

This comedy short delivers in one big way. It’s actually funny. From director Dillon Oleata, “Jackpot: The Price of Wealth” never takes itself too seriously. These low-budget filmmakers work within their limitations and as a result the film does too. The actors were fresh. The boys’ naiveté in the face their friend’s increasingly sadistic demands is reminiscent at times of “Jackass,” making one wonder if the film’s title might not be an allusion.

Over all this short was cute and well done. There was one scene, however, that did more harm to the film than good, the computer-breaking scene. Here’s why: Since this scene supposedly took place after Jeff won the lottery, seeing him walk into an common, everyday house broke the illusion, an illusion that took several minutes of screen time to recover. In an eleven-minute film, and so close to the beginning, this was one stumble the film can’t afford to make.

Instead perhaps prepare the audience. Since the presence of the camera crew is acknowledged in the film, Jeff could preface the scene for the audience. As he’s walking up his friend’s lawn, he could say something like, “This is my friend __’s house. He’s not rich, so it’s kind of shitty, but we’re meeting the guys here.” He could then pause at the door to put on his stupid had, really draw attention to his 80’s chic ensemble. The bottom line is that this film is much better done, over all, than the start of the computer-breaking scene lets on. Having a second for Jeff to set audience expectations about the setting and work his charm on the audience could fix all that, raising the overall film quality by a solid half star.